Hopefully, it sticks this time.
I'm terrified that now that I've gotten comfortable, its all going to go wrong like it always has. Even though the past enjoys ruining my good moods, he always reminds me of a future. The one I dreamed of, the one thats now just outside of my grasp.
My happiness is real and I haven't felt this way in ages.
My future dreams are easy to see and reach, and I dont need to fight anymore.
This is supposed to be.
When Anthony and I first dated, we weren't meant to. his heart was still Bridgette's, and my eyes were focused on Bray. We never would've worked, and we didn't.
But now, we've both aged and matured in ways most people shouldn't, we've been thrown around and endured things that neither of us dreamed.

I thought I was going to marry before, but the future had been unclear and it scared me. I wanted to, but was too scared because of the intense uncertainty.
I'm pretty sure my future is meant to be with him. I've got a lot to rebuild on and his patience and kindness ware exactly what I mean and more.

I sometimes think what could've been or what should've been but I had a nice long talk with the lovely Miss Holland and there's no real point in dwelling in a past I cant change. It was never going to work, and Anthony and I are.

One day, I'll look back and laugh at this and be thankful.

I'm just...happy and I'm finally learning who I am.